Why I stuck a flare up my arse for England
Garrick Theatre
London
21st June 2026
5 Stars
Review by Derek
Head Judge Derek Awards.
This is a hilariously funny yet dark one man play brilliantly written and performed by Alex Hill.
Its a journey that starts innocently enough but leads you down a path many would choose not to go down the means of transport is football particularly two teams AFC Wimbledon and England.
The protagonist Billy Kinley tells of times with his best mate Adam, starting with childhood memories with a signed Bobby Moore football to leaving school, work and their first football matches.
The journey darkens with the meeting of a group of lads in a pub playing pool lead by their leader Winegum. This chance meeting will lead to drugs, football violence and death. Billy will be happy at first he meets in a club the waitress who works in the café he and Adam meet at for pre match breakfast, her Name is Daisy and they start going out.
Winegum's influence becomes more overwhelming to Billy and Adam with drugs and football violence on repeat it becomes a ritual.
Adam starts to distance himself missing games as time goes on.
Billy loses his girlfriend Daisy after England loses to Italy at the Euro finals and Billy sees Winegum for the small man he actually is as he picks on an Italian fan celebrating with his young son.
Then the news Adam is dead.
There is so much more to this play than I have revealed here.
It is a must see play. This could be made into a film it has that much depth similar to the novel Fever Pitch. To paraphrase a famous commentor 'There is a Standing ovation they think its all over'.
Not for this play New York beckons then the rest of the world.
This is a modern day classic which I can not recommend highly enough.
Your emotions will run high especially at the last parts of the play. The acting is that powerful.
Oh and I'll let you find out why he stuck that flare up his arse.
The Effect by Lucy Prebble
Northern Assignment
Assembly Roxy Edinburgh
26/6/26
Reviewed by Derek Head judge Derek Awards
5 Stars
This is a play about control. It is set as medical trial for testing a drug for depression but as with all of life it is about control.
The two main protagonists Tristan and Connie volunteer for this trial. Tristan is an old hand at these types of trials. Connie is a first timer. Tristan is confident and flirty, Connie is less confident and is hiding herself and her life.
As the trial begins and the drug takes effect, they warm to each other they become more daring and flirtatious with each other. This includes breaking the rules of taking part in the medical research. As the Drug dosage increases overtime they fall in love. Surely its just the drug releasing the 'happy chemicals' in the brain. "isn't it!" It must be as surely one must be getting fed a placebo or are they?
The second layer of this play concerns the two doctors running the research, they have a dark past with each other. Which over the last five years is contributing to feelings of depression, denial, guilt and anger. This emotional overcharge allows them to work together but only just.
The two main protagonists become more and more reckless and daring, breaking into a disused mental asylum, indulging in sexual activity and texting on hidden phones they know they're not allowed to have on this trial. Their emotions rise as both react to the increasingly high dosages they receive. They question how they are feeling about each other, can they even trust their own feelings anymore?
Connie is told that it is Tristan on the placebo however unknown to her there is no placebo. The lead doctor is testing his own staff during this trial. Anger rises to the forefront between the two the doctors and between Tristan and Connie.
The last dosage of the drug is given to the two protagonists Connie passes her pill to Tristan through a kiss, this causes a seizer in him and various medical issues. Connie realises how much she truly loves Tristan at this point. As he starts his journey of recovery she takes care of him seeing a happy future for them both. This episode is of course redacted in the official reports.
The third layer of this play is the hidden level that mirrors real life. Its about control and who controls you, Government, bosses , The media, The Law and even family. They all talk about our freedoms but are they all just feeding us a huge placebo.
This play is a highly charged emotional roller-coaster. The jokes are well timed providing the necessary break in the journey you have been taken on, the attention to detail is amazingly done, the acting is some of the best you will ever seen anywhere on the planet, the writing is powerful, dramatic and very relatable.
This is must see play and there is so much more to this play than I have revealed.